Yesterday, while spending time in fellowship with several wonderful women, I heard something very profound - "God, help me to remember this moment." In life, we get so busy, we often forget to stop and take in small moments, that would otherwise go unnoticed, forgotten or possibly even grumbled about.
Last night, I had just finished feeding Hunter, who had resumed his sleep as I held him for a few minutes. In my exhaustion (sometimes, the only proof I have that he even woke for feedings are the empty bottles that remain in the morning), I suddenly found myself more alert. I started looking at the scant pieces of hair atop his head, the small cradle cap dandruff pieces on his forehead. I studied his closed eyes, one clear and one matted from his clogged tear duct. I took in his precious button nose, his sweet, soft, rosy cheeks. I looked at his lips, pressed together in seriousness. I studied the small little chin that had some residual milk tracing its creases. I memorized his small ears, which are pointed and hairy (as are several babies). In that moment, I begged the Lord, "Please, let me remember this moment." I sat there, in my exhaustion, barely able to remember the bottle I just fed this small miracle and through tear-filled eyes, I tried with all my might to find something in that moment that was memorable. I wanted to find something that, in fifty years, when I'm holding my great-grandchildren, I can look back on to remember the early morning of November 17th, when I held my baby. I pleaded again, "Please, Lord, let me remember this moment." Suddenly, my sleeping baby's lips went from seriousness into a smile. A silent tear fell, "Thank you, Lord." Another smile. A third smile. Then, as if he knew that God had just used him to answer my prayer, he opened his eyes, looked at me, and went back to sleep.
Sometimes we get so caught up in the big things that we miss the small things. Last night, in the matter of five minutes, a prayer was said, a prayer was answered and a memory was made. I will remember that moment. Because in that moment, I saw God.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
I Will Be
As many people know, getting pregnant with Hunter wasn't easy. We went through two unsuccessful rounds of Clomid, tried unmedicated for another 12 months, and finally, 14 months after we began trying for him, and probably not very many months from giving up, we got our "BFP" (big fat positive), and after a somewhat rocky journey, we are now the proud parents of two precious boys. I love both of my children more than anything, but they each have very unique stories and are very unique children. Something that touched me, which I read shortly after getting pregnant with Hunter, is called "I Will Be".
I WILL BE
There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.
I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.I will notice everything about my child.I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life. I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.
I count myself lucky in this sense; that I have been given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that I am led to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain. I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won.
So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen.
And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life. Yes I will be a wonderful mother.
I just wanted to share this, not for someone to argue over who's a better mother, that's not the point. The point is - it might give hope, or a little smile, to someone who is struggling with infertility. What I didn't know then, or had maybe just forgotten, was how every moment of pain was going to be worth it when I finally held my baby in my arms - and it was. Suddenly, all the negative pregnancy tests were so perfectly right, because Hunter was our positive test...and I could not imagine my life without him in it. He was, is and always will be worth the wait. And despite the sleepless nights, the exhaustion, the tired arms from always holding him and the aggravation of trying to perfect breast feeding, I am grateful for those moments. Because like that says - I'd rather be up with my dream at 3am than sleeping without him beside me.
I WILL BE
There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.
I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.I will notice everything about my child.I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life. I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.
I count myself lucky in this sense; that I have been given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that I am led to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain. I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won.
So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen.
And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life. Yes I will be a wonderful mother.
I just wanted to share this, not for someone to argue over who's a better mother, that's not the point. The point is - it might give hope, or a little smile, to someone who is struggling with infertility. What I didn't know then, or had maybe just forgotten, was how every moment of pain was going to be worth it when I finally held my baby in my arms - and it was. Suddenly, all the negative pregnancy tests were so perfectly right, because Hunter was our positive test...and I could not imagine my life without him in it. He was, is and always will be worth the wait. And despite the sleepless nights, the exhaustion, the tired arms from always holding him and the aggravation of trying to perfect breast feeding, I am grateful for those moments. Because like that says - I'd rather be up with my dream at 3am than sleeping without him beside me.
Monday, October 25, 2010
One Month Checkup
Oh, Hunter Lee...
You have failed to gain weight. Again. Daddy and I were so hopeful, we redneck weighed you several times and got great numbers (around 7 pounds of chubby munchkin). FAIL. 6 pounds, 5 ounces of skinny munchkin. I even called the nurse out on the scale and she allowed me to re-weigh you. 6 pounds, 5 ounces. Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. At any rate, you're still as healthy as a miniature pony (I would say horse, but you and large animals hold no comparison). You got your second hepatitis shot, and hardly cried at all. Then, I was forced to have the much dreaded discussion: supplementing.
Dr. Omengan left it up to me, but I felt like, since you weren't gaining, I should offer you something in addition to what you were getting. So, I left with my arms full of Similac. After talking to Auntie Kathie and Daisy, I decided against going the formula route, and that I would use some of the breast milk I'd been pumping for you. So, what I've been doing, as you know, is breast feeding you until you decide you're done, then I offer you a bottle with breast milk to "top you off". At first, you wanted nothing to do with this. You'd spit out the milk and turn your head away. Now, however, you've come to accept that, until you can find some chubbies, you've gotta at least pretend to care about this little friend we've introduced you to. Sometimes, you only take half an ounce, sometimes you take two ounces. And, quite frankly, sometimes I don't even offer you the bottle at all. Like, this morning. I allowed you to nurse until your little heart's content and there was no need to offer the bottle. Now, you lie next to me, asleep and full.
Daddy and I did decide, if we have to go to formula (which will only happen when and if we have to continue to supplement and we run out of our reserve), we're going to use Baby's Only. It seems like the most highly rated organic formula. But, we're really crossing our fingers that it won't be necessary!!
So, my littlest pony, that was your one month checkup. We go today for another weight check. I hope they've fixed their stupid scale. ;-)
You have failed to gain weight. Again. Daddy and I were so hopeful, we redneck weighed you several times and got great numbers (around 7 pounds of chubby munchkin). FAIL. 6 pounds, 5 ounces of skinny munchkin. I even called the nurse out on the scale and she allowed me to re-weigh you. 6 pounds, 5 ounces. Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. At any rate, you're still as healthy as a miniature pony (I would say horse, but you and large animals hold no comparison). You got your second hepatitis shot, and hardly cried at all. Then, I was forced to have the much dreaded discussion: supplementing.
Dr. Omengan left it up to me, but I felt like, since you weren't gaining, I should offer you something in addition to what you were getting. So, I left with my arms full of Similac. After talking to Auntie Kathie and Daisy, I decided against going the formula route, and that I would use some of the breast milk I'd been pumping for you. So, what I've been doing, as you know, is breast feeding you until you decide you're done, then I offer you a bottle with breast milk to "top you off". At first, you wanted nothing to do with this. You'd spit out the milk and turn your head away. Now, however, you've come to accept that, until you can find some chubbies, you've gotta at least pretend to care about this little friend we've introduced you to. Sometimes, you only take half an ounce, sometimes you take two ounces. And, quite frankly, sometimes I don't even offer you the bottle at all. Like, this morning. I allowed you to nurse until your little heart's content and there was no need to offer the bottle. Now, you lie next to me, asleep and full.
Daddy and I did decide, if we have to go to formula (which will only happen when and if we have to continue to supplement and we run out of our reserve), we're going to use Baby's Only. It seems like the most highly rated organic formula. But, we're really crossing our fingers that it won't be necessary!!
So, my littlest pony, that was your one month checkup. We go today for another weight check. I hope they've fixed their stupid scale. ;-)
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Letter to Hunter - Month 1
Hunter,
You and Cole are the source of my greatest joy and happiness. You have come so far in the past month. While our first couple days of breast feeding were rough, you've perfected your latch and I think you enjoy that time as much as I do. I said this past weekend - I do it as much for you as I do it for me. Your sleep, however, is a different story. You started as a great sleeper, only waking every 4-5 hours to nurse. Now, however, it's not uncommon for you to wake hourly, for no reason at all. You're not dirty or wet, you have no sign of gas, you simply want to be close to me. Last night, my need for sleep over-rode all other logic and I co-slept with you. Would you believe, you slept from 2:30am-6:00am without making a sound? And as soon as I passed you over to daddy, so I could get some "not holding a baby" sleep, you sounded the alarm. In one hand, I'm exhausted beyond belief. In the other hand, I love that you need and want me as much as I need and want you.
Another area we're having some difficulty in is your weight gain - a month old and you're still not back to your birth weight. However, the doctor says your pulse and color look good, as well as your "chub", so he's not worried at this point.
You are starting to make more noises, and sometimes when you make a big noise, you smile. You have done a few "favorite" things this first month. Our favorite so far is when I was feeding you one morning, I looked down and you had your fingers perfectly intertwined and laying on your chest. I had to wake your daddy to show him. We think you were saying a prayer. We're also amazed at how well you can lift your head up, you seem to be so strong. Sometimes, if I'm burping you and you're still hungry, you will lift your head up and "drop" your upper body down towards my breast. It is so funny. You tend to scrunch your forehead quite a bit, which is cute. You love to be held and close by. When you're awake, your eyes are so big and bright. You haven't lost much, if any, of your dark brown hair. When you cry, you stick out your bottom lip tremendously. You still get the hiccups once or twice a day, which is less than you used to get them (every time you burped).
You have visited both Grandma & Grandpa's house, as well as Grammy's. You have ventured to the doctor's office (both yours and mommy's), the mall (for your newborn pictures), an Ice Hogs game (you were there with the Stanley Cup), a few restaurants and Edward's Apple Orchard. This past weekend, you went on you first vacation and overnight trip to Mark & Kathie's cabin. You loved going on walks, you slept well and you went to the pumpkin patch with the big kids on our way home. You did great on the car ride and we loved having you with us! I even managed to leave you for 15 minutes while I went on a four wheeler ride with the big kids and Kathie.
I could not put every minute of your first month into a blog entry, but it's etched in my heart. We are so blessed and glad to have you here with us. You light up our life. =)
You and Cole are the source of my greatest joy and happiness. You have come so far in the past month. While our first couple days of breast feeding were rough, you've perfected your latch and I think you enjoy that time as much as I do. I said this past weekend - I do it as much for you as I do it for me. Your sleep, however, is a different story. You started as a great sleeper, only waking every 4-5 hours to nurse. Now, however, it's not uncommon for you to wake hourly, for no reason at all. You're not dirty or wet, you have no sign of gas, you simply want to be close to me. Last night, my need for sleep over-rode all other logic and I co-slept with you. Would you believe, you slept from 2:30am-6:00am without making a sound? And as soon as I passed you over to daddy, so I could get some "not holding a baby" sleep, you sounded the alarm. In one hand, I'm exhausted beyond belief. In the other hand, I love that you need and want me as much as I need and want you.
Another area we're having some difficulty in is your weight gain - a month old and you're still not back to your birth weight. However, the doctor says your pulse and color look good, as well as your "chub", so he's not worried at this point.
You are starting to make more noises, and sometimes when you make a big noise, you smile. You have done a few "favorite" things this first month. Our favorite so far is when I was feeding you one morning, I looked down and you had your fingers perfectly intertwined and laying on your chest. I had to wake your daddy to show him. We think you were saying a prayer. We're also amazed at how well you can lift your head up, you seem to be so strong. Sometimes, if I'm burping you and you're still hungry, you will lift your head up and "drop" your upper body down towards my breast. It is so funny. You tend to scrunch your forehead quite a bit, which is cute. You love to be held and close by. When you're awake, your eyes are so big and bright. You haven't lost much, if any, of your dark brown hair. When you cry, you stick out your bottom lip tremendously. You still get the hiccups once or twice a day, which is less than you used to get them (every time you burped).
You have visited both Grandma & Grandpa's house, as well as Grammy's. You have ventured to the doctor's office (both yours and mommy's), the mall (for your newborn pictures), an Ice Hogs game (you were there with the Stanley Cup), a few restaurants and Edward's Apple Orchard. This past weekend, you went on you first vacation and overnight trip to Mark & Kathie's cabin. You loved going on walks, you slept well and you went to the pumpkin patch with the big kids on our way home. You did great on the car ride and we loved having you with us! I even managed to leave you for 15 minutes while I went on a four wheeler ride with the big kids and Kathie.
I could not put every minute of your first month into a blog entry, but it's etched in my heart. We are so blessed and glad to have you here with us. You light up our life. =)
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Hunter's Birth Story
Monday, September 20th, was a big day. Not only did it mark seven years since Doug and I had first started dating, but we had all the last minute appointments. Doug's mom, Julie, escorted me. First, we went to Rockford Memorial Hospital for our pre-admission interview. We toured the hospital and made sure everything was a "go" for Wednesday. After that, we went to my weekly NST and doctor's appointment. Hunter looked great, no contractions and I joked to the doctor that I would not see her Tuesday, since we see each other so much, but that I would, in fact, see her Wednesday. On our way out the door, Dr. Shah, our secondary care provider, asked if we'd done the type and cross test at RMH, to determine my blood type for sure and have the six bags of blood on hand, in case I needed a transfusion. We had not done this, it wasn't ever ordered, so thank God we saw her. She immediately had it ordered and back to RMH we went. Finally, after being gone on appointments all day, I got home around 3:30pm and took the night easy. We grabbed Tom & Jerry's for dinner and headed to bed around 8:00pm. At bed time, I started to feel really sick. I was crampy and felt like I was going to throw up. We had a similar episode about three weeks ago, which resulted in a wasted trip to L&D, so I just toughed it out and felt better when I got up in the middle of the night.
The next morning, Doug awoke to a phone call from a friend of our's. While he took the phone call, I used the restroom and noticed there was blood. Of course, I panicked, as one of the things we've had harped on us is that blood is not good, due to the placenta previa and any sign of blood should send us immediately to the hospital. I wasn't gushing blood, so I wasn't overly panicked, but I knew we didn't need to waste time. So, we packed Cole and our bags in the truck and left the house as a family of three for the last time. After dropping Cole off at Doug's parents, we went to L&D.
At labor and delivery, they decided that since the bleeding wasn't persisting and the baby looked excellent, they would keep us over night to monitor us, go ahead and get all the IV's ran in case something catastrophic happened, but would still go ahead with the planned c-section on the 21st. I was contracting about twice an hour at this point and was in no pain at all. My doctor told us this and left to perform another c-section. About ten minutes after she walked out the door, I felt a gush. At first, I thought I was gushing blood, but there was no red. Then, as any pregnant woman knows is highly possible, I thought maybe I'd had an accident. But, when the water kept coming, I knew my water had, indeed, broken. I had Doug get me back to my gown and my mom went to get the nurse. My doctor was out of surgery before too long and was able to get out\r entire team (which was a HUGE team and a seemingly impossible task) in place within an hour to perform the c-section.
The anesthesiologists came in to place two IV's and a line to monitor my blood pressure internally (an art line). They also explained that due to the increased risk of hemorrhage and the need to a hysterectomy, they would not be able to due a spinal and would need to put me under general anesthesia to ensure the safest approach. Essentially, the spinal would lower my blood pressure and if I should need to go under general, it would be more difficult with the compromised blood pressure. As sad as I was that I wasn't going to see Hunter right away, and that Doug would miss out on his birth, we needed to do what was best for me and the baby. This also meant that I was going to be awake and have full feeling while they placed the ureter stints.
Once we got in the operating room, they placed the stints. It was uncomfortable, but bearable. Especially considering the risk there would have been to Hunter if I would have been alseep while they placed them, increasing the time he was exposed to the anesthetic. After those were in place, they quickly threw up the sheet, cleaned my tummy and to sleep I went, as I said the Lord's Prayer.
The next thing I knew, I was waking up to Dr. Sesslar telling me that Hunter was born and came out screaming, which meant his lungs were good (one of the risks associated with premature babies is under developed lungs. I had been given steroids to mature the lungs, and apparently they worked!) The first thing I asked her, knowing that my baby was okay, was if I had to have a hysterectomy. She said no - when she squeezed my uterus, both placentas detached perfectly!! In other words, it was as normal a c-section as it could have been. The only huge difference for me, was she had to cut my uterus "up and down", since she didn't want to run the risk of cutting the placenta before Hunter was out by cutting it across, as is normally done. What this means is we have to wait two years before getting pregnant again (if we choose to have more children), because the uterus needs more time to heal. It also means that if I get pregnant again, I absolutely cannot have contractions, as it would cause the uterus to burst and put my baby and I at an obvious risk. To avoid this, they would plan the c-section for around 37 weeks.
Hunter did have to spend some time in the NICU, as he was having some issues sucking and getting his blood sugar and temperature regulated. After being released from the recovery room, I went from the bed right to the wheel chair to go meet my baby!! When I saw Hunter, with his perfect chubby cheeks and head full of dark brown hair, I was overwhelmed. I had tears as I held him in my arms for the first time, something I wasn't sure if would ever happen with all of the "what if's" we were faced with. I thanked God right then and there, for giving me such a perfect baby and for making the surgery go so well. I held my baby close, I kissed him and I prayed thanks for him...and I have held him close, kissed him and prayed thanks for him every day for 29 days now, as I will every day for the rest of his life.
***
The name issue: As you know, we were waiting on Lane, but now we're happy for Hunter. When we met our sweet baby, he just wasn't "Lane". We debated all three days we were in the hospital about what to name him. We considered dozens of names. In the end, Doug and I decided on "Hunter", which was the name we liked while trying to conceive. I really like to have at least one name have familial significance, so I picked "Lee" for his middle name, which won over "Ray". Lee is after myself (Danielle LeeAnn), my paternal grandmother (Bessie Lee) and an uncle who I love very much (Terrence Lee). So, hence - our beautiful son, Hunter Lee Heath, born Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 2:37pm. He weighed 6 pounds, 11 ounces and was 18.5" long.
The next morning, Doug awoke to a phone call from a friend of our's. While he took the phone call, I used the restroom and noticed there was blood. Of course, I panicked, as one of the things we've had harped on us is that blood is not good, due to the placenta previa and any sign of blood should send us immediately to the hospital. I wasn't gushing blood, so I wasn't overly panicked, but I knew we didn't need to waste time. So, we packed Cole and our bags in the truck and left the house as a family of three for the last time. After dropping Cole off at Doug's parents, we went to L&D.
At labor and delivery, they decided that since the bleeding wasn't persisting and the baby looked excellent, they would keep us over night to monitor us, go ahead and get all the IV's ran in case something catastrophic happened, but would still go ahead with the planned c-section on the 21st. I was contracting about twice an hour at this point and was in no pain at all. My doctor told us this and left to perform another c-section. About ten minutes after she walked out the door, I felt a gush. At first, I thought I was gushing blood, but there was no red. Then, as any pregnant woman knows is highly possible, I thought maybe I'd had an accident. But, when the water kept coming, I knew my water had, indeed, broken. I had Doug get me back to my gown and my mom went to get the nurse. My doctor was out of surgery before too long and was able to get out\r entire team (which was a HUGE team and a seemingly impossible task) in place within an hour to perform the c-section.
The anesthesiologists came in to place two IV's and a line to monitor my blood pressure internally (an art line). They also explained that due to the increased risk of hemorrhage and the need to a hysterectomy, they would not be able to due a spinal and would need to put me under general anesthesia to ensure the safest approach. Essentially, the spinal would lower my blood pressure and if I should need to go under general, it would be more difficult with the compromised blood pressure. As sad as I was that I wasn't going to see Hunter right away, and that Doug would miss out on his birth, we needed to do what was best for me and the baby. This also meant that I was going to be awake and have full feeling while they placed the ureter stints.
Once we got in the operating room, they placed the stints. It was uncomfortable, but bearable. Especially considering the risk there would have been to Hunter if I would have been alseep while they placed them, increasing the time he was exposed to the anesthetic. After those were in place, they quickly threw up the sheet, cleaned my tummy and to sleep I went, as I said the Lord's Prayer.
The next thing I knew, I was waking up to Dr. Sesslar telling me that Hunter was born and came out screaming, which meant his lungs were good (one of the risks associated with premature babies is under developed lungs. I had been given steroids to mature the lungs, and apparently they worked!) The first thing I asked her, knowing that my baby was okay, was if I had to have a hysterectomy. She said no - when she squeezed my uterus, both placentas detached perfectly!! In other words, it was as normal a c-section as it could have been. The only huge difference for me, was she had to cut my uterus "up and down", since she didn't want to run the risk of cutting the placenta before Hunter was out by cutting it across, as is normally done. What this means is we have to wait two years before getting pregnant again (if we choose to have more children), because the uterus needs more time to heal. It also means that if I get pregnant again, I absolutely cannot have contractions, as it would cause the uterus to burst and put my baby and I at an obvious risk. To avoid this, they would plan the c-section for around 37 weeks.
Hunter did have to spend some time in the NICU, as he was having some issues sucking and getting his blood sugar and temperature regulated. After being released from the recovery room, I went from the bed right to the wheel chair to go meet my baby!! When I saw Hunter, with his perfect chubby cheeks and head full of dark brown hair, I was overwhelmed. I had tears as I held him in my arms for the first time, something I wasn't sure if would ever happen with all of the "what if's" we were faced with. I thanked God right then and there, for giving me such a perfect baby and for making the surgery go so well. I held my baby close, I kissed him and I prayed thanks for him...and I have held him close, kissed him and prayed thanks for him every day for 29 days now, as I will every day for the rest of his life.
***
The name issue: As you know, we were waiting on Lane, but now we're happy for Hunter. When we met our sweet baby, he just wasn't "Lane". We debated all three days we were in the hospital about what to name him. We considered dozens of names. In the end, Doug and I decided on "Hunter", which was the name we liked while trying to conceive. I really like to have at least one name have familial significance, so I picked "Lee" for his middle name, which won over "Ray". Lee is after myself (Danielle LeeAnn), my paternal grandmother (Bessie Lee) and an uncle who I love very much (Terrence Lee). So, hence - our beautiful son, Hunter Lee Heath, born Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 2:37pm. He weighed 6 pounds, 11 ounces and was 18.5" long.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Stubborn Boy!
This little boy is as stubborn as can be!! For the past four weeks, we've had to do these non-stress tests, which pretty much make sure that when Lane moves, his heart rate accelerates like it should. Needless to say, my little gymnast decides that whatever time they want to do this test is the perfect time for his nap. We eat, drink and move around, trying to get him to move, and it never works. Even shocking him with this vibrating/shocking mechanism does little to get him to respond. We usually end up in ultrasound for a biophysical when they do they AFI (which measures his fluid). Yesterday, though, was by far the worst. He wouldn't even produce results for the biophysical!! He is such a stubborn boy!! But, finally the doctor was content with him and the minimal results he was producing, so she let us pass.
Beyond that, his fluid levels are down (which is normal at this point), and he's running out of room in there. Everything is still set to go for September 22nd. We'll get to the hospital at 5:30am, around 7:30, the urologist will come place his stint and the official surgery should start by 8:00am, taking about 45 minutes. My team is hopeful things are going to go smoothly, as are we.
We've been asked a lot of if we'd like visitors, I'd say anytime after 2:00pm that first day (Wednesday), should be fine, but please call us (as there are a lot of unknowns until that day). We'd like an opportunity to spend time with our baby and let Cole meet his brother. We should be there until Saturday, so Thursday and Friday should be fine for people to come visit as well.
At any rate, we're excited to wake up for our last Friday morning without Lane. We have our intake appointment at the hospital Monday, followed by our final OB appointment at 11:00am on Monday, then Tuesday we get to sit and wait...
This portion of a poem is from "8 Seconds" and it reminds us of the last 8.5 months:
"We've been waiting on Lane ever since we can recall,
It started in the winter, and now it's early fall..."
We can't wait to meet you, sweet baby boy.
Beyond that, his fluid levels are down (which is normal at this point), and he's running out of room in there. Everything is still set to go for September 22nd. We'll get to the hospital at 5:30am, around 7:30, the urologist will come place his stint and the official surgery should start by 8:00am, taking about 45 minutes. My team is hopeful things are going to go smoothly, as are we.
We've been asked a lot of if we'd like visitors, I'd say anytime after 2:00pm that first day (Wednesday), should be fine, but please call us (as there are a lot of unknowns until that day). We'd like an opportunity to spend time with our baby and let Cole meet his brother. We should be there until Saturday, so Thursday and Friday should be fine for people to come visit as well.
At any rate, we're excited to wake up for our last Friday morning without Lane. We have our intake appointment at the hospital Monday, followed by our final OB appointment at 11:00am on Monday, then Tuesday we get to sit and wait...
This portion of a poem is from "8 Seconds" and it reminds us of the last 8.5 months:
"We've been waiting on Lane ever since we can recall,
It started in the winter, and now it's early fall..."
We can't wait to meet you, sweet baby boy.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Final Preparations...
We had our routine, weekly doctor's appointment on Wednesday. Lane's looking good, fluid's measuring good and nothing has changed for the better or worse. As I may have mentioned, my OB has been out on her own maternity leave for the past six weeks, so we've been seeing one of her partners. While my OB did discover the previa at 16 weeks, it has been her partner who has been working with us in the third trimester, when it becomes more serious. My OB has been practicing for ten years, while her partner has been practicing for 24. Both are great doctors, but we fell into a comfort zone with the partner doctor. Doug actually asked at one of our appointments if we could switch to her, to which she said no, it was bad practice. We completely understood, but still kind of felt like, "Well, damn." But, the partner would be assisting during the surgery with my OB, so we at least had that. Well, on Wednesday, she said she had discussed with our doctor and that our doctor was okay with her performing the surgery, with our doctor assisting, instead of vice versa, as we originally thought. Again, we like our doctor very much, but feel this is the best thing for us and for Lane, so we are so excited and relieved!! Our next appointment is Thursday, then we're going to be down to less than a week as a family of three. =)
Yesterday I met with the urologist who will be placing stints in my ureters before the surgery. What this does is makes sure if anything goes wrong and I start bleeding profusely, the doctor will be able to feel the ureters (as they likely wouldn't be visible) and it lessens their risk of being cut. I really liked the doctor and his staff, which is nice, especially when there's not a lot of time to find someone else if I didn't.
Overall, we're cautiously optimistic that Lane will get here uneventfully and all of the precautions that are being taken will have been wasted effort. We ask, now that we are getting down to the wire, for continued prayers from our friends and family.
Yesterday I met with the urologist who will be placing stints in my ureters before the surgery. What this does is makes sure if anything goes wrong and I start bleeding profusely, the doctor will be able to feel the ureters (as they likely wouldn't be visible) and it lessens their risk of being cut. I really liked the doctor and his staff, which is nice, especially when there's not a lot of time to find someone else if I didn't.
Overall, we're cautiously optimistic that Lane will get here uneventfully and all of the precautions that are being taken will have been wasted effort. We ask, now that we are getting down to the wire, for continued prayers from our friends and family.
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